Asking is sexy.

This is my follow-up to the last article I wrote about talking dirty vs wild sounds. If you haven’t read that article yet, here is a link
I talked about the enjoyment of being non-verbal during sexual play. I also talked about the pleasure in making sound.

If you don’t know how to talk dirty, just ask your lover for what you want. Asking is sexy.

There is no doubt that being spoken to during sexual play can be arousing. Doing the talking can be a little more nerve wracking. I understand the awkwardness in wanting to sound sexy but the words feeling contrived.

Talking dirty doesn’t have to be contrived. Dirty talk can be the simple truth of your desire, spoken out loud as a request to your play partner.

I’m quite certain that when they hear you ask for what you want, they will feel turned on.

They will feel wanted.
They will be encouraged.
They will want to please you.


The asking doesn’t have to be about receiving something, it can also be to give something. Asking works in both active and passive positions.

Asking always promotes consent.

Consent is sexy.

Asking is sexy.

Still unsure? The asking doesn’t have to be phrased as a bald request. It could be a direction. It could be a signal about what you are going to do.

“I really want to feel your mouth all over my body”

“I want to pull your pants down right now”

“I’m going to put my finger inside you”

Get the idea?

If you are still stuck for ideas, check out this video where Seani Love and I talk about how to explore kink in your relationships

Have fun!

In peace, love and kink,
DT xx